Have You Seen This?!

Hey everyone, long time no post! Well, that’s mostly because I haven’t seen any new movies as of late… but now I have! Like so many others, my childhood was perforated by the ever-present J.K. Rowling and her favorite teenage wizard. I’ll tell you a little secret – I actually had very little interest, at the ripe age of 11, in reading any of the Harry Potter books… solely because I thought ‘Harry Potter’ was a really weird name. Chances are I would’ve eventually read the books anyway somewhere down the road, but it was actually my dad who got me into them when he would read to my younger brother and I on the weekends we spent at his house during the school year (parents are divorced). Finally the movies came out and wah-la, here I am today writing a review on one of the most influential, coveted, and beloved franchises to ever grace this world.

***DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU AREN’T CAUGHT UP IN THE BOOKS OR HAVEN’T SEEN PART ONE***

Part II starts off pretty much exactly where we left our characters – Harry is on the beach where our favorite house elf has met his demise, Voldemort is waving around Albus’ wand, and we see Snape and several others going about their gloomy business. Almost immediately you find yourself grateful that they split this into two parts mostly because the transition over from Part I (which I finished while standing in line) is so seamless that you feel back on track right from the start.

As I said, Part II starts right where ‘I’ left off…. and you find yourself appreciative of the split, if you weren’t before. Important, albeit lengthy, conversations take place right at the start in order to establish the context of the story. This was the only part of the movie that I was “le sigh” about, mostly because I had just watched HP 1 – 7.1… so the last thing I needed was a couple of conversations reestablishing what we already knew. Nonetheless, Harry and co. figure out where the next Horcrux might be (remember, there are 7) and are off on their way. The main reason why you’ll be grateful this was split is because it truly uses about 90 – 95% of the books material (changes included), which I was super happy about because I felt some of the previous installments felt either incomplete or hollow.

This being perhaps the darkest HP movie of the franchise, you’ll be happy to know that the tone isn’t a claustrophobic cacophony of depression, death, and loss… and like its seven counterparts, this film is riddled with light-hearted moments and throwbacks to the previous movies. However, this does come at the expense that many of the funny moments never actually took place in the books – but that’s okay! If you get emotional easily, know now that you will definitely cry in some parts. There’s one scene specifically, before a certain visit to a certain forest, where you will at least get a little misty-eyed (personally, I love a good challenge).  I don’t really need to talk about the soundtrack, CG quality, effects, acting, or the sheer “legitness” of the story… it’s perfect. If anything is above-par for a Potter film, it’s the image quality. You’ll know what I mean when you see the movie, but the coloration is just gorgeous in this installment (keep a look out for Harry’s eyes in a certain altercation with You-Know-Who).

There’s nothing I can really say negatively about Part II… but perhaps a word to the wise. Before seeing this film, if you haven’t seen the other films  in over 2 years, I recommend watching installments 1 thru 7.1. When I was watching Part I, I remember having a hard time keeping up with the number of horcruxes, certain wizards’ names, and what had happened to certain characters – in this I find an inherent flaw of showing favor to those who have read the books and are in the know on details unbeknownst to those who would rather just watch the films. Essentially, all I’m saying is to perhaps start on HP 4 and work your way up (well, 3 maybe, unless you have a pretty solid understanding of the basilisk and the chamber of secrets). This film is a 4.75 / 5.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that the Harry Potter franchise will be sorely missed, and that with it’s end comes the end of millions of childhoods around the world. All we can do now is make sure this legacy is passed down to our children and then watch as love and wonder for Hogwarts and the magical world fill their hearts as it once filled ours. With this review comes a final good-bye, from me at least, to a wonderful decade. I’d like to thank J.K. Rowling for her inspiring work and for showing everyone that even in the depths of despair, a future can be borne out of imagination and love -  It’s not all about being a doctor, a lawyer, or a filmmaker.
Here’s to you, Harry Potter.

Quarantine: Terminal

Hey everyone! Today’s review will be on the [REC] spin-off sequel, Quarantine: Terminal. A small aircraft takes off from Los Angeles, but is soon plagued by sickness and the plane is forced to land at the nearest runway. However, upon landing at an undesignated Gate… the plane, passengers, and unlucky crew, are quarantined (see what I did there?) off from exiting the structure and are left to deal with the infected among themselves. What ensues is a web of deceit, action, and a bloodbath of fear. Buckle up – it’s a gonna be a wild ride.

   Let’s get right into it. First and foremost, while QUARANTINE was essentially a cookie cutter version of its Spanish counterpart, Q:T goes in a completely different direction than [REC]2. To the cheers of many horror fans across the country, the first-person camera has been dropped. Secondly, the film doesn’t take place in an apartment building, but on a plane… then in a bagging area. I haven’t seen [REC]2, but from what I can gather these are the major changes.

   Aside from loving the horror genre a little more than is probably healthy, I also love first-person mockumentaries. From BLAIR WITCH to CLOVERFIELD; POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES to S&MAN, I personally believe that the ‘found footage’ filming style is really fun and has more of an impact than most horror films out there today (PARANORMAL ACTIVITY is a perfect example of what I mean). That being said, I feel as if Q:T lost some of its flair due to its abandonment of the style that makes the franchise what it is. The studios obviously wanted to avoid any further comparisons between their American version and the Spanish version… but it’s for the worse, in my humble opinion. Without that first-person view, it’s just another ‘infection’ film far inferior to 28 DAYS/WEEKS LATER and the “– OF THE DEAD” franchises. Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is fine and certainly delivers in terms of gore and scares… but it feels overdone and cliched, whereas the original was new and frightening (I saw QUARANTINE before [REC]).

   As previously mentioned, Q:T also veers away from [REC}2 in that it doesn’t take place in the aftermath of the first, in the apartment, but rather on a plane heading for some unknown destination (I didn’t catch it) from Los Angeles. If you’re a seasoned horror fan, you kinda know where everything’s going. Passenger looks really sick, airline attendants try to comfort, passenger gets really sick, noone’s really catching on that something’s wrong, oh look – a couple having sex with their light on, passenger is obviously infected and starts flippin’ balls, airplane is forced to land due to safety concerns, quarantine. You even have a good idea of which passengers will be the catalyst for the infection because of just how “oh, this should be good” so many of the moments in the film are. Think: L4D, Boomer. I know, right? Awesome.

   With the abandonment of the ‘found footage’ arc and its subsequent changes, Q:T is certainly different than its brothers. If you can get past the disappointment of the differences (assuming you’re bummed out in the first place), the movie really isn’t all that bad. It actually has a crap ton references to the first film and one of the major plot twists actually ties directly to the end of QUARANTINE. Because I wasn’t exactly ecstatic at the notion of the film not being in first-person, these throwbacks made up for it some. I won’t judge too harshly because apparently the screening at which I attended wasn’t the completed film, but the movie wasn’t too bad in the first place and I found my jaw open on more than one occasion.

   The acting was pretty smooth for the most part, despite the passengers were certainly hardcore stereotypes (a la MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS), with only minor hiccups here and there. As for the atmosphere and sound, the film version I saw was apparently missing about 40% of its sound quality… so while I didn’t really notice it during, when the director brought this up afterwards I recalled feeling like the film had a ‘thin’ quality to it. Sounds were certainly missing here and there, but I didn’t recall this until later – a win for the director, in my book.

   Now for the film overall. This was a good movie. I don’t think it was as interesting or fun as the first, nor its Spanish counterparts for that matter, and there are definitely a lot more similar, scarier, versions of Q:T… but I believe the franchise is heading in a good direction. Director John Pogue had mentioned that he didn’t really see where a third film could go, and I can understand that – the power of a lot of horror films is taken away when certain plots are explored and excavated to a fault. But I also think that a third film that picks up a year later would be interesting, since the cult behind the virus’ plans are further explored… unfortunately, any direction this film heads in will probably butt heads with an already existing franchise and lose. Regardless, if they bring back the first-person camera I would definitely be interested in a third installment. If they do a third film without  the first-person, I’ll probably wait and see what the public opinion is. Personally, I don’t think everyone will love the third-person view as much as they think… but who knows?

Imma give this film a 3.25/5

PoTC: On Stranger Tides

Woooooooooooooo!! Pirates of the Caribbean! I love this franchise. In this fourth installment, Jack Sparrow – sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow – finds himself en route to the Fountain of Youth, by order of the English crown. Well, at least that’s the synopsis for the first 15 minutes.    Let’s try again: In this fourth installment, after about 15 minutes, Jack Sparrow instead finds himself en route to the Fountain of Youth, forcefully enlisted by the beautiful Penelope Cruz, who is apparently Blackbeard’s daughter.    Abandoning the horrid love triangle that caused so many to turn their backs on their beloved pirate trilogy, OST only brings back four cast members from the previous installments – including… wait for it… my favorite, Barbossa (I mean, seriously, if you don’t like Barbossa what’s wrong with you). Anyways, everyone wants the Fountain of Youth. Blah blah blah.

   If you truly know me, then you know that I loved the original trilogy. Cheesy love triangles be damned, I absolutely loved the sword fights and the intrigue, and those were perhaps the first real time I ever just switched off my brain and enjoyed the movies for what they were. I’ll admit that everyone has their irks and love triangles simply isn’t one of mine (remember, I love horror films and chick flicks).

   Anywho, there were several things that really stood out about this film. First of all, the new cast members really set up a good jumping off point for the next film. There’s a new love interest, of course, and this time you’re actually kind of “awww” about the whole thing – luckily, it’s not a love triangle though, which is what I think a lot of people disliked about previous films. Geoffrey Rush and Kevin McNally are two of the four returners, and their presence was sorely missed during the absence of another PoTC film. In this film, Rush has a more center-stage role and he certainly takes advantage of it. I myself was glad they gave us more Rush – his acting, or maybe it’s just his character, is certainly one of the better highlights of this production.

   The music score in this film is astounding, but when are the “nectar to our ears” Hans Zimmer not kicking ass with his musical embodiment of notes and crescendos? The guy is a goldmine and if you listen to Pandora, and you enjoy motivational “I’m going to kick this essay’s ass” kind of music, then you gotta seriously consider putting Mr. Zimmer as one of the “artists”.

   Everything in the film was pretty top notch; the sets were beautiful, the acting kept the story going enough, the music was perfect (see my nerdgasm one paragraph up), and the story was a good one. So why would I give this film only a 3.75/5? Simply put, this film was the same as it’s previous counterparts and not as good.

   While I believe it was a good idea to start up again with a different cast and try and go in a new direction, I believe the attempt was “admirable” at best. As previously mentioned, you have four returning cast members… but they do what they’ve been doing since the first film – betraying, lying, cheating, stealing, and switching loyalties faster than SAW’s fanbase dwindled. The formula is somewhat tiring and barely holds up on its own. As for new characters….. mehh. Ian McShane plays the dreaded Blackbeard, a shoe-in for replacing Davy Jones and the English as adversaries to Jack Sparrow, right? Wrong. If I’m not mistaken, fans of the trilogy loved the villains from the previous films, correct? Everyone loves Barbossa for obvious reasons, the English’s Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) was a villain, but fans loved his manipulative manner, and Davy Jones was ultimately found to be a sad soul that you kind of sympathized with or perhaps even feared. Blackbeard is none of these things, and you mostly just can’t wait for him to be defeated/killed. Same goes with Penelope Cruz, who plays opposite Sparrow as an old flame. All I have to say is she’s as annoying as you think she’ll be after watching the trailer. Her character has a pretty shallow background, and while Cruz is certainly a talented actress, her character is pretty boring. There is a “William” of the film, but he’s more of a tertiary background character and Sparrow doesn’t even really exchange words with him – it’s basically a side plot.

I know it seems like I contradicted myself with the pros and cons, so let’s re-cap. Jack Sparrow is still amazing, Barbossa returns with a better center-stage kind of aspect (and is very lovable in this), Ian McShane and Penelope Cruz are boring, “William” (as in “not William”) is a very distanced side plot, the music is utterly astounding, the visuals are gorgeous, the formula of betrayal and trust is the same, the fight scenes are alright, and the story is a good one for the most part. Oh, and I should add that Astrid Berges-Frisbey is astoundingly beautiful as the mermaid Syrena (perhaps named alla “siren” from the Odyssey story). I would say that this film is worth seeing in theaters… but it won’t kill you to wait until it comes out on DVD. This was first and foremost a filler for the 5th film, which I believe a script has already been turned in and pre-production is in the works. 3.75/5

Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis return as the “wolf pack” in the sequel to possibly one of the most popular comedies to date. Phil, Stu, and Alan make their way to Bangkok for Stu’s wedding, where the once-toothless bachelor will be wedded to the stunning Lauren (Jamie Chung, Sucker Punch). On the eve of his wedding, Stu and his buddies have a beer on the beach… and the next thing you know, they wake up in a dilapidated hotel room, covered in sweat and beer, and find that they’re missing Lauren’s younger brother, Teddy. What ensues is a crazy mis-adventure, involving transgendered prostitutes, drug lords, and splattered pig.

   I really enjoyed Hangover Part II for several reasons. First of all, the humor is as rich as ever, and the return of the wolf pack is quite the sight for sore eyes. With our favorite euphemisms in tow, the three partiers make their way all over the city of Bangkok searching for their missing friend while trying to survive the squalid situations they created during their rounds. The film is a lot darker this time, with perhaps a more realistic experience of what might happen if you got shitfaced and wandered around an unknown city while causing a ridiculous amount of mayhem in the process. If you enjoyed the first film, you’ll probably love this one too as it’s pretty much the same formula: guys wake up in hotel room, realize friend is missing, somehow figure out first clue, run around city, everyone recognizes them, and they somehow figure everything out in the end during a moment of reflection. A lot of the twists were pretty fun, and the story has a nice conclusion.

Now for some bad news. This film isn’t worth the theater experience. As I’ve told several peoples already, if this film came out as a standalone, as opposed to being attached to its predecessor, it would probably garner a lot of praise. However, as with most sequels, this film fails to match the uniqueness, fun, and tension that was practically infused into The Hangover’s celluloid. The jokes, whilst pretty fun allusions to the first go-around in 2009, are tiring and cheeky. The reason for the wolf-pack’s memory loss is somewhat disappointing as well, and you were kind of hoping for a little bit that it wasn’t the same ‘ol regurgitated bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, this film was good… but not great. Almost everything is the same though. Everything. Right down to the animal in the room, to the phone call preceding the epiphany (think of the first film).

      I have a feeling that the whole “Thailand” bit contributed to the negative experience as well. In Las Vegas, the audience could better relate to what was going on. We had some good points of reference and the visuals really pulled you in. While watching HPII, I was pretty confused about where everything was, and didn’t really care about where the three guys went because it just didn’t really grab me the way the first film did. The fact that you figure out pretty early on that HPII is basically a rehash of the first film doesn’t help much either. While the acting and soundtrack were great as usual, and you don’t have to worry about Galifianakis (he’ll always be funny), the scenery and “I’ve seen this before” of the film really does a number on the euphoria that the first movie gave off. Pretty disappointing. Ultimately, there’s no way you can watch this film and not compare every moment, on every level, to the 2009 predecessor.

I don’t really care for a third Hangover film, and wouldn’t be disappointed if the idea was dropped – but I doubt it will be. Hangover is a money-bringer. But if the formula and gameplan isn’t changed up a bit… I doubt that even Galifianakis could save the film from the negative reviews it will inevitably receive.    3.75/5

Poster

The premise of the ward goes something like this – We first meet Kristen, a young blonde teenager (hot!), running through the woods. From who or what, you’ll find out pretty quickly as she collapses to her knees in front of a burning house and a police vehicle pulls up and drags her away. Kristen isright away taken to a mental hospital, where she meets the four other young women in the ward (see what they did there?), and quickly learns her new home is being terrorized by a ghost… and it wants to kill. You can see where this is going.

   I have to admit, I haven’t seen a lot of Carpenter films. Up until about 2 weeks ago, I’d only seen his Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns and The Thing. Both very well done projects, especially the latter, and memorable enough to get me to want to catch up on some of his other projects before I saw this film. What ensued was basically a marathon of his more renown works – The Fog, Escape From New York, They Live… and I think that’s it. I know I just skimmed the surface, but I think I got some of the important ones out of the way. I certainly enjoy using my Netflix account for “research”, especially if that means holing up in a dark room with a bag of gummy bears and bite-sized Butterfingers as my only companions. Keep in mind that The Ward is the first film in a LONG time that Carpenter didn’t screenplay or compose on his own. On to the film.

I must admit that during the course of this film there was a certain level of nostalgia that I couldn’t place – perhaps it was because I had steeped myself in Carpenter’s older films, and subconsciously missed the “good ‘ol days”. Regardless, I felt that Carpenter did a well enough job on this project for me to at least discuss with friends and family. It’s PG-13, so no torture-porn antics here (I was glad for the breath of fresh air), and its lack of gratuitous violence harkened back to a time when in-your-face decapitations were best left to the imagination. The women in this film are all hot (except for the main nurse lady) and give good enough performances to draw you in to the basic plot. The soundtrack was eerie enough and set up the scare sequences almost flawlessly.

Unfortunately, there is more bad than good when it comes to The Ward. First off, the acting was mediocre at best. While the characters did did pull you in enough to get the juices flowing, several of the female leads were distractingly out-of-place with their quirks and it works against you, the viewer. Usually in this kind of film, you either fall in love with the main character and root for them to overcome evil… or get annoyed and start rooting for the bad guy to kill them off. The Ward is the latter. Amber Heard, one of the better actresses on set, seemed pretty stiff in her dialogue and it comes off as callous arrogance – not too mention the stifling estrogen-enriched paranoia that pervades the film on a conscious level.

As mentioned earlier, The Ward is the first film in over 10 years that Carpenter hasn’t written or composed for. Big mistake. The music, while creepy, becomes an entity unto itself… instead of helping the film, it hinders it. I mean, obviously the 21st century isn’t going to embrace the synthesizer-style of Carpenter’s past, but perhaps our director shouldn’t have been so hasty to use the whole “creepy female voice singing lullaby” soundtrack. It’s pretty over-the-top, and if you’ve seen enough horror films then you basically become intoxicated with a pre-concieved idea of how it’s all going to end. Directors and film fans alike might say “That’s bullshit, you don’t know how its going to end.” Let me put it this way – if you’ve been following the SAW franchise, then you know all about the traps (basically the reason why people still follow the series, let’s be honest). In the seventh – and final? – installment, there’s a trap where four people’s lives are in the balance and their deaths will be BRUTAL BRUTAL BRUTAL if one of them isn’t able to fulfill his task in the allotted 30 seconds. As the audience, usually you’d be rooting for those trapped to escape. However, the seasoned SAW fan already knows they’re all going to die, because why in God’s name would the writers and director come up with such an intricate trap (that would result in these four simultaneous brutal deaths), and let them get out of it? That’s basically the same “well, this plot is obvious” feeling that you get (notice I said FEELING – in no way is The Ward similar to SAW  in terms of plot and endgame) from the soundtrack and storyline.

It should also be noted that I don’t enjoy nitpicking a film. Sure, I like to discuss plot holes and whatnot… but what film DOESN’T have those? The Ward stands alone on a platform of nitpicking that I’d never really witnessed, and you will probably find yourself going “well why would they do that?” more often than usual.

I love horror films as much – or more – as the next guy, but Carpenter’s The Ward was simply not that great. From the soundtrack, screenplay, acting, and directing, the film uses overplayed tricks and cheap gimmicks to try and lull the audience into a soft roar of approval. However, if you just want a fun horror to sit down, turn your mind off, and watch… well then this is for you. My only advice would be to go in with an open mind and remember that it’s been 10 years since a Carpenter film – he’s a little rusty.       

2.75/5    <— I grade how I want!

  Sebastian Junger, writer of The Perfect Storm, teams up with photographer Tim Hetherington to chronicle the events of the Second Platoon as they battle insurgents in one of the most deadly valleys, the Korengal. During this year, we are subjected to the brotherhood, tears, sweat, and blood of the soldiers as they repel an unseen enemy as well as stave off problems with the locals. That’s basically the whole premise.

So I finally got around to watching the film Restrepo, and I want to start by saying that I did enjoy it. I have mucho respect for the men and women in our armed forces (some of my closest friends being in the military. Also, mad respect for Junger and Hetherington for being able to “weather the storm” as it were – those are real bullets; people are really dying. I found the subject matter visually stimulating in that this is obviously one of the more front-line action documentaries that really shoves the danger of war down your throat.

Okay, so let’s go over the pros and cons. Cons first; I didn’t feel like this film was showing me anything different than I’d already seen. I know that makes me sound like an asshole, but hear me out. I understand   the danger and hardships that the soldiers are facing… not personally, but I’m not saying I’m ignorant to what goes on over there. The soldiers are risking their lives day in and day out to push the enemy back and establish outposts in the hopes of ultimately winning this war. But that’s the thing – even though this film is certainly interesting and has its gut-wrenching moments, I honestly didn’t really get anything too different than what I’d already seen before. I felt like I was seeing a more linear storyline (since YouTube videos are just 3 – 5 minute segments) for obvious reasons… but there wasn’t anything groundbreaking about this film, at least in my opinion. I also had a hard time following which soldiers were who, and wished the filmmakers would’ve made a better effort to get us acquainted with certain soldiers (through older footage perhaps) before they died. The emotional impact (aside from the realness behind it, trust me I know) was nonexistent because of how abrupt the deaths were mentioned and I found myself going “wait, who was that?” Those were the only complaints (and even those are not really complaints, per se) I had about this.

This documentary was great. The editing is what really makes this, as I felt I was watching an actual Hollywood film half the time. Captain Kearney, to me, was the epitome of the American soldier, and I couldn’t help but draw comparisons between him and Soap from MW2 (hairstyle mostly, Kearney doesn’t have an English accent). There’s not much positive or negative you can say about this film (aside from editing and redundancy) because it’s just a vicarious documentation of events that are actually occurring. Acting, sound, lighting, and screenplay are naught when it comes to this kind of stuff, and so everything that mattered, I’ve already mentioned. But in closing, the whole experience, editing, and feeling of patriotism for our troops almost completely eclipse any minor issues one might have (such as the “Umm, this isn’t anything new” feeling).

I give this film a    4.5/5   because it truly was a very well done documentary, both in style and editing. The filmmakers were also very mature in what to show, as opposed to shoving bloodbaths and death down our throats.

I would also like to take a moment to thank the soldiers overseas who are risking their lives for this country, even if the reasons for their being over there are suspicious and unnecessary – that doesn’t reflect the individual soldiers that make up the military, but is a criticism of the government and its military machine. Thanks!!